If you’re a dad, then you’d better get your shit together for Valentine’s Day. You have only a couple days left to make it out unscathed.

But how can you do that?

First, make a list of who you need to remember. Here it is at a minimum.

  1. Wife.
  2. Mom.
  3. Kids. Especially your daughter

For your wife:

  • Basics (1 to 3 days in advance)

Let’s face it: most of us will never get past this step, but here it is. Get a card (before the day). Get up early on the 14th. Go put it in her car. (Don’t forget to say something nice, stupid!)

  • Intermediate (3 to 5 days in advance)

Now you are getting fancy. Get two cards. Do Step 1. Mail the other card a few days in advance to her office. Show her that you were thinking about her not just once, but two times… and a few days in advance, to boot!

  • Advanced (5 to 10 days in advance)

Ha ha! Nobody is ever going to do this… but let’s pretend like we are this organized. Do Steps 1 and 2, and then plan a nice date. If you can cook better than a monkey, then plan a nice meal, get a good bottle of wine (these ones are great) and make it a special night. Don’t forget a nice playlist. Oh, and maybe buy her a present.

For your mom:

First things first: do not do anything here if you haven’t done something for your wife. The worst thing you can do is remember your mom over your wife. Game over. Go sleep on the couch. Forever.

  • Basics (Day of)

Call your mom and tell her a story about a time she made you feel special as a kid. For me, my mom once sent a cute stuffed animal and balloons to the school. I got called to the principal’s office. I shit a brick wondering what I had done. Waiting for me was a kick ass Valentine’s Day present that made me feel amazing and loved.

  • Intermediate (1 to 3 days in advance)

Get a card. Write something mushy and mail that thing. Then, on Valentine’s Day do Step 1.

  • Advanced (3 to 5 days in advance)

Do Steps 1 and 2. Then, call your dad and remind him that Valentine’s Day is coming. Suggest he read this blog and follow the Valentine’s Day Wife Strategy.

For the kids:

Again, if you skipped your wife and your mom, stop and go handle them first. If you don’t, you’re an idiot, and you’re better off doing nothing for everyone rather than celebrating the wrong person.

  • Basics (Day of)

Get up a few minutes early and have a card for each kid. Wake them up one by one, give them a big hug, and tell them how much you love them.

  • Intermediate (1 to 3 days in advance)

Mail the cards in advance. Everyone likes getting mail. Also, make them each a cup of hot chocolate before they get up.

  • Advanced (3 to 5 days in advance)

Do the above and send some balloons and chocolate covered strawberries to their school.

There you have it. NinjaDad being romantic and helping you out. Do us a favor and send this to a friend who needs help or buy some Manners Cards!

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