Look, we’re going to be blunt here. We invented these stupid things because we’re dads. They’re called manner cards, and they help us maintain sanity.

Did we say “stupid things?” We meant “helpful.” They’re helpful things. Here’s what we mean: 

Chew with Your Mouth Closed

Notice that the heading didn’t read, “chew with your mouth closed, please?” That’s because we’ve already asked nicely. Like, at least ten times. Today.

Not at the table. Come on. And for goodness sake, you can’t pick your sister’s nose. Stop it. She doesn’t like it, and it’s gross.

At some point, you get tired of repeating yourself. Your throat gets hoarse. Steam toots from your ears. Your eyes roll so hard you pull a facial muscle you didn’t know you had (you’re a dad, after all).

Is that a gray hair? Dammit.

Use Your Fork

That’s not finger food. This is a nice restaurant. There are people watching. Your mother is crying.

It doesn’t matter. You’ve already told your kid this. Last week, too. And the week before that. And the week before that.

Now you’re just repeating yourself, and you’re tired of it. If only there were a way to reiterate your message without having to constantly pipe up at the dinner table and remind your kids that they should be using their manners. Or fork.

Both.

Whatever.

Don’t Pick Your Nose

Not at the table. Come on. And for goodness sake, you can’t pick your sister’s nose. Stop it. She doesn’t like it, and it’s gross.

Manner Cards to the Rescue

Manner cards are little table tents that remind your dear, perfect children to use their manners.

If you’ve found yourself reminding your sweet, flawless little angel that they should use their napkin, not their sleeve over and over again, then you might want some manner cards.

Just pop one up and communicate in the language of our people: a grunt, a nod, a stern pointer finger, or a cocked eyebrow should do the trick. Well, it will do part of the trick. The manner card will do the other part of the trick—it’ll say what you’ve already said a thousand times before.

That’s what manner cards are.

Gifts for Dads

Here’s the deal: we’re just a couple of arguably-great dads who want to raise our children well. We don’t want to compromise our values, and we do want well-behaved kids who will grow up into respectable adults.

But although children are a handful (and often a pain in the neck), they’re also very fun. Our intentions are serious, but there’s always room for fun.

Honestly, gifts for dads don’t have to be boring. We don’t need Scotch rocks.

Are manner cards good gifts for dads? We think so, yes. That’s why we made them. And hey, just because our kids don’t listen, it doesn’t mean they won’t read, right?

Right.

don't chew with your mouth open ninja dads manner cards

To read more about what being a Ninja Dad entails, spy some of our other blogs!

Five Best Things About Being a Dad

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